..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
