Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
