We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
