dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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