life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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