You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
