Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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