would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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