Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
