For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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