I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
