Sponge bath it is.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
