i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
