ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
