there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
