I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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