They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
