I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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