I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
