Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
