everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
