At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
