I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
