Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
