dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
