I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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