is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
