Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
