he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
