sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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