playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
