I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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