when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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