Kareoke will never be a sober sport
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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