No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
