I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
