If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
