So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
