Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
