your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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