all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
