I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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