Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
