Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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