Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
