Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
