Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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