i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
