Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
