Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
